My Trailer is Bigger Than Your Trailer
Monday, July 28, 2003
I ain't been here in a coon's age and I gots meneger glavbyx to pologize fer that. What with the tornados and floods and hurricanes and whatnot, we been havin a bad time down here to the trailer park. But Little King done insisted that I git on this here contrapshun today and say somethin bout his second biggest hero and role model, Bob Hope, up and dyin. It's a sad, sad day fer folks in the good ol' U.S. of A.
posted by Bertha Mae on 7:05 AM |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Hope y'all had yerselves a happy Sinko da Mio unitystore internet shop! We spent lots a time tryin to git ready but we didn't git all the fixin's we needed fer our feast. We packed ourselves up into the pickup but on the way down to the Piggly Wiggly we done run out a gas so we never did git there to buy us some torteea chips, so we had to use the Doritos we already done had. They's good an all, but they don't go too good with that there gwackamoley.
posted by Bertha Mae on 8:29 AM |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Over to Germany, a squirrel done chased a little girl up a tree. The news story don't say how big that there squirrel was, but it must a been some kind a monster to git that little girl so ascared.
posted by Bertha Mae on 10:23 AM |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Monday, April 28, 2003
Fer all y'all who gots young'uns who wants to be high falutin and go gaming forum on off to college but y'all don't know how to pay fer it, I found y'all some skolerships. If yer up to New England and fat, here's one. If yer left-handed up to Pennsylvania, here's one. There's even one fer pot smokers. Lordy sakes.
posted by Bertha Mae on 9:20 AM |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Saturday, April 26, 2003
I done found me some more wacky stuff bout them PETA folks. Seems the head a them nut cases, when she dies, wants her skin to be bar-b-qued, her eyeballs to go to some science class so young'uns won't have to disect cow eyeballs and her feet to be umbrella stands. Did y'all need any more proof that them folks is plum crazy?
posted by Bertha Mae on 11:30 AM |
Here's a nother news story bout a chicken. I wonder why folks would want to steal and hurt that there chicken.
posted by Bertha Mae on 11:00 AM |
A woman over to England gots a chicken that laid itself a giant egg. She done said they's gonna eat it, but they'll have to have lots a toast to go with it.
posted by Bertha Mae on 10:34 AM |
The Hatfields and McCoys is at it again. Them folks'll never learn.
posted by Bertha Mae on 10:16 AM |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Friday, April 25, 2003
Here's a news story bout a feller who named his son after his favrite beer. Comes a time when the mama gots to put her foot down and I know that from experience. Festus Joe wanted to name one a our boys Pabst Blue but I wouldn't go fer that so we settled on Cletus, a right fine name.
posted by Bertha Mae on 11:55 AM |
What's this world comin to when a feller can't even walk his pet chicken without gettin hisself arrested?
posted by Bertha Mae on 11:49 AM |
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Thursday, April 24, 2003
I reckon them PETA folks will use this here news story to show why folks shouldn't be killin mice. My pinion is just on account a one feller bein stupid don't mean other folks can't kill mice the regler way.
posted by Bertha Mae on 2:21 PM |
Folks up to Montana is fightin bout cow poop.
posted by Bertha Mae on 1:40 PM |
Over to China, they done started makin beer out a milk. If that ideal works and catches on over to America, mayhaps some a them folks who got laid off from down to the dairy will git called back. Heck, Festus Joe might even want to git off the welfare and go back to work down to the dairy if they was makin beer.
posted by Bertha Mae on 12:51 PM |
Here's a great big howdy to all you folks who's comin here from that there hockey message board. Course I don't know what y'all are sayin bout us on account a I ain't registered there, but thanks fer comin anyway!
posted by Bertha Mae on 11:40 AM |
A woman over to Florida stabbed her son in the butt on account a he wouldn't git up fer work. Folks has tried all kinds a way to git Festus Joe up out the bed, but no one never stabbed him -- yet.
posted by Bertha Mae on 10:32 AM
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