Bertha Mae done told me I has to tell y'all my story. Well, I ain't got much of one. I ain't never been to school. I ain't never had me a wife. I ain't got no kids. I ain't got me a job. Well, not one of them reglar jobs anyway. I go round to all the dumpsters near the trailer park every day and find me some fixins and some good pickins. I sometimes take what I find down to the swap meet on Sundays and make me some money. I just call them things ant-teeks and them fancy womens done spend all they money on them. That's how I pay my space rent down to the trailer park.

I got me two hogs tho. Festus Jr. is all the time helpin' me slop 'em. There's a snack bar down by the train tracks that we get fixins for them hogs at. Bertha Mae says I'm real handy. I'm all the time helpin' her out with stuff. She gets them real bad pains and nothin' seems to help but me rubbin' on 'em. She seems to have them pains all the dag burn time. Festus don't seem to mind none tho. He's down in his back and all.

Well, that's all fer now. I gots to get me a D.P. that's a Dr. Pepper for you that don't know.