I was born in the back of a pickup truck. We was runnin' across the county lines. Poppa and Momma was gettin' away from that revenuer man. Momma and Poppa didn't know I was ready to come out. And they was goin' about their business deliverin' the daily squeezins. Momma said she even had to put down her shot gun for a little while.

I growed up like I said...cricks, cotton gins, stills..all the fine things in life. Poppa made his own brew and sold it. Youn's might say he was a reglar ol' ontra-puh-newer. Momma helped him out when and where she could. I hear she was might handy with the shot gun. I started workin' eary in life. I had to help support the family...all 15 of us. Woulda got that there welfare but we couldn't have a permanent addess. So I learnt me to hunt coons. Festus didn't do that very well. I'm thinkin' he might been down in his back, back then.

Time went by, started workin' down to the dairy. Bought me a trailer. And a pickup truck. And a dog. Thought about joinin' a militia. Well, that's pretty much where I'm at. Silly me, I got married. Found me a right purty educated lil' thing. Her name's Thelma Jo. She's the queen of my double wide trailer. She's takin' some of them there kor-respond-ance school. Now don't get me wrong, I ain't no idiot or nothin', but after I got outta the 3rd grade, i went to work. Still got me a still in the back. That Thelma Jo, she gots herself a new business every week. That's a smart woman. I'm fixin' to maybe leave the dairy. Gettin' kinda wonky down there. I might be lookin' in on one of them there construction jobs before too long.

That's it for now y'all!